I've always liked Faye Dunaway. I mean, I really like her. I think she's hilariously camp in Mommie Dearest. I adore her in Albino Alligator, which is just a darn good movie. But after watching Bonnie and Clyde, I'm just absolutely in love with Ms. Dunaway. What a stunningly gorgeous woman. I was mesmerized by her smile (her imperfect teeth makes it even more perfect), her cute little "1920's" (cough-really1960's but who's paying attention to that-cough) haircut, her and her enormous blue eyes. Wow... as Charlie would say, she's unconventionally beautiful. And that's the best kind of beautiful.
So I was going to write more. Give details about the horrible grand mol seizure my friend had at the coast, and how scary it was to witness and try to remember what first aid courses tell you to do. But she's okay now. And I guess that's all there really is to say about that.
I'm going to stop typing now.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Not sleeping causes melancholy
So... No one could possibly read this anymore since it has been 9 months since I have posted anything. 9 months since I have gone into hiding. 9 months since my life became hell because I allowed it to. As I look back on a lot of things I think "why the hell did I do that?" Why did I isolate myself from people I loved and kept myself from meeting new people to love because I was so preoccupied by a serious, yet not life threatening, situation? Yeah, it sucked and I was pretty miserable, but I chose to let that take over EVERYTHING. Misery is a choice. And now it's like I'm waking up and realizing I lost 9 months of my life.
Uh, by the way, I wasn't pregnant or anything.
I think I'm suffering from sleep deprivation.
I was at the ocean and I'd truly love to live at the coast, although when I had the chance to take a job in Astoria I turned it down because I thought I couldn't live that far away from everything else. I think that was a mistake. Although, then again, I sat at the oceanside every morning while I was at the coast and I thought about life and everything. It was a little too heavy for daily thoughts. I don't think I could handle that sort of philosophical, self-analytical stuff daily.
But I did realize a few things... First of all, I choose not to be miserable anymore.
Second, I would really like to recapture some of my awesome friendships I have lost and see if I could make new awesome friendships if it isn't too late for some people that I've misplaced.
And finally, third, I will always miss Justin. Justin was my very best friend. Then we weren't friends anymore. Then he jumped off a building and died. When something beautiful or glorious happens, I think to myself "I wish Justin were here." And it makes me sad because he would have liked being at the ocean this week. He would have liked waking up early and sitting and talking about all this with me. He would have liked to give me a hug and touch my hair and have me scratch his back and read him chapters from my book. And he would have been happy. And so would I. It's a really heartbreaking feeling to know it won't ever happen. And I'll have that feeling forever. But it's okay. I think it's okay for me to be sad and it's okay for me to be happy and it's okay for me to live without Justin. And I really haven't thought that since he died.
Since You Died by Dismemberment Plan is a really good song. Just so you know.
I also miss my cousin Justin. I don't really know what to do to mend the broken ties. And maybe I can't. But I'll watch a movie we saw together, or see a heart-shaped cookie, or listen to a band I know he loves and I will really, really miss him. But, again, I don't know where to start. I looked for his e-mail address on his blogs, but I couldn't find it. I don't know what I'd say. It's just kinda weird to have someone that was super close, like a brother, like a part of me, and then it's not that way anymore. And I see him and he's a stranger. And he has a wife that I think I'd really like but I don't know her. And it's another "why the hell is this happening" moment.
So. That's it for now. This is way too honest for me and I don't typically like to be that honest. But again, I think no one will read it so maybe I'm safe. Or maybe I should have written it down privately in a journal.
Uh, by the way, I wasn't pregnant or anything.
I think I'm suffering from sleep deprivation.
I was at the ocean and I'd truly love to live at the coast, although when I had the chance to take a job in Astoria I turned it down because I thought I couldn't live that far away from everything else. I think that was a mistake. Although, then again, I sat at the oceanside every morning while I was at the coast and I thought about life and everything. It was a little too heavy for daily thoughts. I don't think I could handle that sort of philosophical, self-analytical stuff daily.
But I did realize a few things... First of all, I choose not to be miserable anymore.
Second, I would really like to recapture some of my awesome friendships I have lost and see if I could make new awesome friendships if it isn't too late for some people that I've misplaced.
And finally, third, I will always miss Justin. Justin was my very best friend. Then we weren't friends anymore. Then he jumped off a building and died. When something beautiful or glorious happens, I think to myself "I wish Justin were here." And it makes me sad because he would have liked being at the ocean this week. He would have liked waking up early and sitting and talking about all this with me. He would have liked to give me a hug and touch my hair and have me scratch his back and read him chapters from my book. And he would have been happy. And so would I. It's a really heartbreaking feeling to know it won't ever happen. And I'll have that feeling forever. But it's okay. I think it's okay for me to be sad and it's okay for me to be happy and it's okay for me to live without Justin. And I really haven't thought that since he died.
Since You Died by Dismemberment Plan is a really good song. Just so you know.
I also miss my cousin Justin. I don't really know what to do to mend the broken ties. And maybe I can't. But I'll watch a movie we saw together, or see a heart-shaped cookie, or listen to a band I know he loves and I will really, really miss him. But, again, I don't know where to start. I looked for his e-mail address on his blogs, but I couldn't find it. I don't know what I'd say. It's just kinda weird to have someone that was super close, like a brother, like a part of me, and then it's not that way anymore. And I see him and he's a stranger. And he has a wife that I think I'd really like but I don't know her. And it's another "why the hell is this happening" moment.
So. That's it for now. This is way too honest for me and I don't typically like to be that honest. But again, I think no one will read it so maybe I'm safe. Or maybe I should have written it down privately in a journal.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Unsung Heroes...
I have to nominate 2 random guys for my heroes of the week...
McCain was talking about what he wants to do with education and in the midst of him saying "blah blah... report to parents and students but I won't say in what method we will report - maybe we will test the parents 15 times a year in No Parent Left Behind? Or the parents can test the educators in No Teacher Left Behind!!" (yeah, he said none of that, he said NOTHING meaningful about education) But I digress... In the middle of this ambiguity, the camera turns to some guy who is in this ENORMOUS yawn. And the camera stays focused on this audience member until this Yawn of Exceeding Length ends! The camera person obviously found this as hilarious as I did. The yawning guy rocks and the camera man (or director) who obviously hates McCain kinda rocked too. Cattiness is awesome!
(Okay, now I want to clearly state that I am not anti-mccain. I need to hear more from the candidates before I decide. I'm waiting to hear more about education reform, which I obviously didn't get from that speech... So yeah, no McCain hate here. Just an awesome observation)
(Also, maybe you don't find this as hysterical as I do... But I have had a long, tiring week and haven't slept much in the past 72 hours. Nah, it really was that funny).
Oh... And in my bit of excitement for the actual season of NFL starting today... Did you hear that Chad Johnson actually LEGALLY changed his name to Ocho Cinco? Seriously!!
McCain was talking about what he wants to do with education and in the midst of him saying "blah blah... report to parents and students but I won't say in what method we will report - maybe we will test the parents 15 times a year in No Parent Left Behind? Or the parents can test the educators in No Teacher Left Behind!!" (yeah, he said none of that, he said NOTHING meaningful about education) But I digress... In the middle of this ambiguity, the camera turns to some guy who is in this ENORMOUS yawn. And the camera stays focused on this audience member until this Yawn of Exceeding Length ends! The camera person obviously found this as hilarious as I did. The yawning guy rocks and the camera man (or director) who obviously hates McCain kinda rocked too. Cattiness is awesome!
(Okay, now I want to clearly state that I am not anti-mccain. I need to hear more from the candidates before I decide. I'm waiting to hear more about education reform, which I obviously didn't get from that speech... So yeah, no McCain hate here. Just an awesome observation)
(Also, maybe you don't find this as hysterical as I do... But I have had a long, tiring week and haven't slept much in the past 72 hours. Nah, it really was that funny).
Oh... And in my bit of excitement for the actual season of NFL starting today... Did you hear that Chad Johnson actually LEGALLY changed his name to Ocho Cinco? Seriously!!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Simpsons quote of the sleepless night...
"Can't sleep, clown'll eat me... Can't sleep, clown'll eat me..." ~ Bart
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Invisible Monsters - Chuck Palahniuk
Chuck Palahniuk is like the schizophrenic, bastard love-child of David Lynch, Edgar Allen Poe, and M. Night Shyamalan (pre-Lady in the Water), who all used hardcore porn to set the atmosphere when he was conceived.
His stories are bizarre, unique, sometimes violent (coughFightClubcough), full of surprising twists, in-your-face punchy prose with waaaaay too many details for comfort.
Palahniuk warns that Invisible Monsters "[has] more of [a] fashion magazine feel, a Vogue or Glamour magazine chaos with page numbers on every second or fifth or third page. Perfume cards falling out, and full-page naked women coming out of nowhere to sell you make-up... Don't expect to find anything right off. There isn't a real pattern to anything, either. Stories will start and then, three paragraphs later: Jump back to page whatever. Then, jump back.
This will be ten thousand fashion separates that mix and match to create maybe five tasteful outfits. A million trendy accessories...and no real clothes to wear them with...
This is the world we live in. Just go with the prompts" (p. 20-21).
Flash. The 10,000 fashion separates piece together a story of a former model turned hideously disfigured. The million accessories make up a dead gay brother, a pill-popping glamazon, an ex-boyfriend being poisoned with female hormones, nuns that fix up mangled hospital patients, and a beautiful face that was eaten by birds. Each character wants to be the star of their life, this story, and the world in general. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in Palahniuk's works and I find it a fascinating concept and a disturbing mirror. Who doesn't want to be the lead character in the story? Who looks at their friends and acquaintances as the supporting actors in their lives? Who examines circumstances in life just to further the plot and possibly make your story Oscar worthy or put on the best-seller list? I certainly don't want to admit to that.
After reading seven of Palahniuk's books I'm finding patterns that are beginning to feel a little old -- hmmm... maybe he's not just Pre-Lady in the Water M. Night afterall... In Invisible Monsters the twists an turns of the story seem less shocking/edifying and more "one of my multiple personalities, which actually turns out to be the real me, falls in love with my uncle, poisons my aunt, and conducts abortions to use fetal materials for face cream" aka plot device # 732 (alluded to in previous post). But maybe I've read too much Palahniuk in too little time.
Overall, I feel that Invisible Monsters is an adequate Chuck Palahniuk tale. That being said, his adequate is still pretty innovative and bad-ass. Although it's nowhere near as clever, horrifying, appalling, and flabbergasting as Haunted, it's also not as forced and nonsensical as Rant. Invisible Monsters still sucker-punches you in the gut and stays stuck in your head for a long time after you've finished.
His stories are bizarre, unique, sometimes violent (coughFightClubcough), full of surprising twists, in-your-face punchy prose with waaaaay too many details for comfort.
Palahniuk warns that Invisible Monsters "[has] more of [a] fashion magazine feel, a Vogue or Glamour magazine chaos with page numbers on every second or fifth or third page. Perfume cards falling out, and full-page naked women coming out of nowhere to sell you make-up... Don't expect to find anything right off. There isn't a real pattern to anything, either. Stories will start and then, three paragraphs later: Jump back to page whatever. Then, jump back.
This will be ten thousand fashion separates that mix and match to create maybe five tasteful outfits. A million trendy accessories...and no real clothes to wear them with...
This is the world we live in. Just go with the prompts" (p. 20-21).
Flash. The 10,000 fashion separates piece together a story of a former model turned hideously disfigured. The million accessories make up a dead gay brother, a pill-popping glamazon, an ex-boyfriend being poisoned with female hormones, nuns that fix up mangled hospital patients, and a beautiful face that was eaten by birds. Each character wants to be the star of their life, this story, and the world in general. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in Palahniuk's works and I find it a fascinating concept and a disturbing mirror. Who doesn't want to be the lead character in the story? Who looks at their friends and acquaintances as the supporting actors in their lives? Who examines circumstances in life just to further the plot and possibly make your story Oscar worthy or put on the best-seller list? I certainly don't want to admit to that.
After reading seven of Palahniuk's books I'm finding patterns that are beginning to feel a little old -- hmmm... maybe he's not just Pre-Lady in the Water M. Night afterall... In Invisible Monsters the twists an turns of the story seem less shocking/edifying and more "one of my multiple personalities, which actually turns out to be the real me, falls in love with my uncle, poisons my aunt, and conducts abortions to use fetal materials for face cream" aka plot device # 732 (alluded to in previous post). But maybe I've read too much Palahniuk in too little time.
Overall, I feel that Invisible Monsters is an adequate Chuck Palahniuk tale. That being said, his adequate is still pretty innovative and bad-ass. Although it's nowhere near as clever, horrifying, appalling, and flabbergasting as Haunted, it's also not as forced and nonsensical as Rant. Invisible Monsters still sucker-punches you in the gut and stays stuck in your head for a long time after you've finished.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Simpsons quote of the day...
Seems perfect for today...
"No one loves oily Homer." ~ Depressed (and oily) Homer
"No one loves oily Homer." ~ Depressed (and oily) Homer
The Arthurian Omen - G.G. Vandagriff
Basically, this is The Da Vinci Code with Arthurian myths in place of Catholocism and instead of the villainous Opus Dei there are the Welsh. Seriously. Read The Historian instead. Or even better: read Jasper Fforde!
** Spoiler Alert **
highlight to view To make it even cooler and more copied than any other novel in current publication, it uses plot device #732: It's not me, it's my multiple personalities!!!!
** Spoiler Alert **
highlight to view To make it even cooler and more copied than any other novel in current publication, it uses plot device #732: It's not me, it's my multiple personalities!!!!
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