I have to nominate 2 random guys for my heroes of the week...
McCain was talking about what he wants to do with education and in the midst of him saying "blah blah... report to parents and students but I won't say in what method we will report - maybe we will test the parents 15 times a year in No Parent Left Behind? Or the parents can test the educators in No Teacher Left Behind!!" (yeah, he said none of that, he said NOTHING meaningful about education) But I digress... In the middle of this ambiguity, the camera turns to some guy who is in this ENORMOUS yawn. And the camera stays focused on this audience member until this Yawn of Exceeding Length ends! The camera person obviously found this as hilarious as I did. The yawning guy rocks and the camera man (or director) who obviously hates McCain kinda rocked too. Cattiness is awesome!
(Okay, now I want to clearly state that I am not anti-mccain. I need to hear more from the candidates before I decide. I'm waiting to hear more about education reform, which I obviously didn't get from that speech... So yeah, no McCain hate here. Just an awesome observation)
(Also, maybe you don't find this as hysterical as I do... But I have had a long, tiring week and haven't slept much in the past 72 hours. Nah, it really was that funny).
Oh... And in my bit of excitement for the actual season of NFL starting today... Did you hear that Chad Johnson actually LEGALLY changed his name to Ocho Cinco? Seriously!!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Simpsons quote of the sleepless night...
"Can't sleep, clown'll eat me... Can't sleep, clown'll eat me..." ~ Bart
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Invisible Monsters - Chuck Palahniuk
Chuck Palahniuk is like the schizophrenic, bastard love-child of David Lynch, Edgar Allen Poe, and M. Night Shyamalan (pre-Lady in the Water), who all used hardcore porn to set the atmosphere when he was conceived.
His stories are bizarre, unique, sometimes violent (coughFightClubcough), full of surprising twists, in-your-face punchy prose with waaaaay too many details for comfort.
Palahniuk warns that Invisible Monsters "[has] more of [a] fashion magazine feel, a Vogue or Glamour magazine chaos with page numbers on every second or fifth or third page. Perfume cards falling out, and full-page naked women coming out of nowhere to sell you make-up... Don't expect to find anything right off. There isn't a real pattern to anything, either. Stories will start and then, three paragraphs later: Jump back to page whatever. Then, jump back.
This will be ten thousand fashion separates that mix and match to create maybe five tasteful outfits. A million trendy accessories...and no real clothes to wear them with...
This is the world we live in. Just go with the prompts" (p. 20-21).
Flash. The 10,000 fashion separates piece together a story of a former model turned hideously disfigured. The million accessories make up a dead gay brother, a pill-popping glamazon, an ex-boyfriend being poisoned with female hormones, nuns that fix up mangled hospital patients, and a beautiful face that was eaten by birds. Each character wants to be the star of their life, this story, and the world in general. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in Palahniuk's works and I find it a fascinating concept and a disturbing mirror. Who doesn't want to be the lead character in the story? Who looks at their friends and acquaintances as the supporting actors in their lives? Who examines circumstances in life just to further the plot and possibly make your story Oscar worthy or put on the best-seller list? I certainly don't want to admit to that.
After reading seven of Palahniuk's books I'm finding patterns that are beginning to feel a little old -- hmmm... maybe he's not just Pre-Lady in the Water M. Night afterall... In Invisible Monsters the twists an turns of the story seem less shocking/edifying and more "one of my multiple personalities, which actually turns out to be the real me, falls in love with my uncle, poisons my aunt, and conducts abortions to use fetal materials for face cream" aka plot device # 732 (alluded to in previous post). But maybe I've read too much Palahniuk in too little time.
Overall, I feel that Invisible Monsters is an adequate Chuck Palahniuk tale. That being said, his adequate is still pretty innovative and bad-ass. Although it's nowhere near as clever, horrifying, appalling, and flabbergasting as Haunted, it's also not as forced and nonsensical as Rant. Invisible Monsters still sucker-punches you in the gut and stays stuck in your head for a long time after you've finished.
His stories are bizarre, unique, sometimes violent (coughFightClubcough), full of surprising twists, in-your-face punchy prose with waaaaay too many details for comfort.
Palahniuk warns that Invisible Monsters "[has] more of [a] fashion magazine feel, a Vogue or Glamour magazine chaos with page numbers on every second or fifth or third page. Perfume cards falling out, and full-page naked women coming out of nowhere to sell you make-up... Don't expect to find anything right off. There isn't a real pattern to anything, either. Stories will start and then, three paragraphs later: Jump back to page whatever. Then, jump back.
This will be ten thousand fashion separates that mix and match to create maybe five tasteful outfits. A million trendy accessories...and no real clothes to wear them with...
This is the world we live in. Just go with the prompts" (p. 20-21).
Flash. The 10,000 fashion separates piece together a story of a former model turned hideously disfigured. The million accessories make up a dead gay brother, a pill-popping glamazon, an ex-boyfriend being poisoned with female hormones, nuns that fix up mangled hospital patients, and a beautiful face that was eaten by birds. Each character wants to be the star of their life, this story, and the world in general. This seems to be a reoccurring theme in Palahniuk's works and I find it a fascinating concept and a disturbing mirror. Who doesn't want to be the lead character in the story? Who looks at their friends and acquaintances as the supporting actors in their lives? Who examines circumstances in life just to further the plot and possibly make your story Oscar worthy or put on the best-seller list? I certainly don't want to admit to that.
After reading seven of Palahniuk's books I'm finding patterns that are beginning to feel a little old -- hmmm... maybe he's not just Pre-Lady in the Water M. Night afterall... In Invisible Monsters the twists an turns of the story seem less shocking/edifying and more "one of my multiple personalities, which actually turns out to be the real me, falls in love with my uncle, poisons my aunt, and conducts abortions to use fetal materials for face cream" aka plot device # 732 (alluded to in previous post). But maybe I've read too much Palahniuk in too little time.
Overall, I feel that Invisible Monsters is an adequate Chuck Palahniuk tale. That being said, his adequate is still pretty innovative and bad-ass. Although it's nowhere near as clever, horrifying, appalling, and flabbergasting as Haunted, it's also not as forced and nonsensical as Rant. Invisible Monsters still sucker-punches you in the gut and stays stuck in your head for a long time after you've finished.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Simpsons quote of the day...
Seems perfect for today...
"No one loves oily Homer." ~ Depressed (and oily) Homer
"No one loves oily Homer." ~ Depressed (and oily) Homer
The Arthurian Omen - G.G. Vandagriff
Basically, this is The Da Vinci Code with Arthurian myths in place of Catholocism and instead of the villainous Opus Dei there are the Welsh. Seriously. Read The Historian instead. Or even better: read Jasper Fforde!
** Spoiler Alert **
highlight to view To make it even cooler and more copied than any other novel in current publication, it uses plot device #732: It's not me, it's my multiple personalities!!!!
** Spoiler Alert **
highlight to view To make it even cooler and more copied than any other novel in current publication, it uses plot device #732: It's not me, it's my multiple personalities!!!!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Ode to A Coffee Table
Oh, wondrous legged creature born from the utilitarian mythologies
Oh, wooden stability, ever even, the epitome of balance
One of superhuman strength that supports my laptop when the laptop is too hot for the human lap
One of supreme joy that holds our games when our backs are too weak to continue sitting on the floor
Oh, tragedy of broken limbs! The inhumanity and careless, cruel fate!
Oh, the mockery of an owner without the tools to fix thy fragmentation!
Why, why the uselessness of thine friend that leaves you incapacitated?
Why, why were there not more photographs to document thine journey?
Oh, thou deserves better company than one that cannot save you from your destruction
Oh, lovely, glorious, sea of faux-oak... a surface that left us far too soon.
Oh, wooden stability, ever even, the epitome of balance
One of superhuman strength that supports my laptop when the laptop is too hot for the human lap
One of supreme joy that holds our games when our backs are too weak to continue sitting on the floor
Oh, tragedy of broken limbs! The inhumanity and careless, cruel fate!
Oh, the mockery of an owner without the tools to fix thy fragmentation!
Why, why the uselessness of thine friend that leaves you incapacitated?
Why, why were there not more photographs to document thine journey?
Oh, thou deserves better company than one that cannot save you from your destruction
Oh, lovely, glorious, sea of faux-oak... a surface that left us far too soon.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
